“Why does nothing in life ever go in my favor?”

Such a sentiment has been plaguing my conscious mind for the past week in consideration of various events. As per Dostoyevsky, “it is in despair that we find the most acute pleasure, especially when we are aware of the hopelessness of the situation”; leading me to illustrate the below philosophies through writing.

I tend to view the notion of life and experiences as a series of assorted probabilities — an intrinsic matter of odds; wherein whether something occurs or not is purely based on such a mathematical concept — ultimately achieving a purpose of attempting to rationalise emotion. At times, such a probability rests at a rate of 50/50; it’s a simple matter of saying yes or no, or one option or the other — some prove to be more complex (involving a multitude of other factors and elements that affect this probability). However, these probabilities of individual situations ultimately prove to be insignificant and rather trivial in the grand scheme of life; within some sort of universal progression of time that, despite any attempts at interference that may be made and exerted by external forces, progresses onwards irrespective of such.

Humans are inherently egocentric. We want what’s best for ourselves and ourselves only, despite how altruistic we make ourselves out to be or how “objectively-minded” we aim to be. Despite being capable of loving or caring for others, humans ultimately place themselves first. This may give rise to conscious inertia — being the culmination of ideas and concepts but failure to take action (I do admit that I have experienced my fair share in this regard).

Ultimately, occurrences in life cause a sort of “deepening of moral perceptions” as well as facilitating progressions in our own understanding and processing of everything occurring around us, as Aileen Kelly categorises within the foreword of Isaiah Berlin’s collection of essays; it’s a complex vision of the world and one’s surroundings that give rise to “cardinal fallacies” where everything seems to rest. Such delusions, concerns, and worries that plague the minds of some are culminated from thoughts dwelling within their own sick minds; one’s mind determines their own course in life. Flawed minds give rise to flawed thoughts — this is inevitable in life, and altering one’s mindset proves to be difficult especially considering one’s innermost toil that takes place within the hearts and souls of many. It takes grasp of your psyche with unparalleled force and does not seem to let go — and it is only with time that this sort of imminent release will gradually, slowly, progressively, occur.




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